1.) Hall Pass: Rick and Fred, two husbands who are having difficulty in their marriages, are given a Hall Pass by their wives: for one week, they can do whatever they want. Sounds like another Farrelly, gross out but instead it feels like a very lukewarm Hangover, it seems that ‘Hall pass’ is the confused death squeal of a creative partnership well past it’s best and all the 14-year-old type poo jokes can’t change that. Potentially funny insights are quickly drowned in a constant puerile stream of bodily fluid slapstick, like the sweat of desperation as the Farrelly’s struggle to recapture their own glory days and I really hope they get back to it, I’m still waiting for the follow-up that is as good as There’s Something about Mary. The plot is very old hat, this film was fun when it was made 56 years ago and called The Seven Year Itch, this is another chapter in what seems like the endless saga of American male infantilism, it really is a wonder how they made money from this - but I guess we are the ‘American Pie’ comedy generation.

2.) No strings attached: In this ‘comedy’, Emma (Natalie Portman) and Adam (Ashton Kutcher) are life-long friends who almost ruin everything by having sex one morning. In order to protect their friendship, they make a pact to keep their relationship strictly “no strings attached.” It means they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, in whatever public place they want, as long as they don’t fall in love, you don’t have to have a degree in rom-coms to know the predictable ending. It benefits from the presence of Natalie Portman (the film’s timing can’t get any worse as everyone was starting to see Natalie Portman as a serious contender for an Oscar for ‘Black Swan) and director Ivan Reitman’s steady hand, but No Strings Attached doesn’t have the courage or conviction to follow through on its lewd premise. Ivan Reitman (the man who regaled us with such cinematic jewels as My Super Ex-Girlfriend) appears to be trying desperately to make this stinker relevant by being frank and diverse, yet its narrow stereotypes keep it strictly on a rom-com path.  

3.) Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked: It hasn’t even be released yet. Call me cynical….I  just know it will just be horrendous!

4.) The Dilemma: The best thing about ‘The Dilemma’ is Channing Tatum. That’s how bad it is, folks. Everybody in this film is upstaged by a charming six-pack, good comedy is unabashed and is instigated from a real life experience and it seems screenwriter Allan Loeb wouldn’t know good comedy if it hit him in the head which interestingly a lot of slapstick happens in the film- but it is uneven and often cheesy!. It’s ham-fisted mishmash of bromantic set pieces and warts-and-all relationship drama makes for uneasy viewing, the frustrating element of this film is that the core of the film could make for an interesting concept but it requires a director willing to indulge the dark comedy side to its fullest. And one name that style doesn’t bring to mind for the job is Ron Howard. This is what happens when a what should have been a gem of a black comedy has Vince Vaughn and a throwaway script involved.  

5.) Big Momma’s: Like Father like Son: An obvious and unwanted cash in, ‘Big Momma’s 3′ is an extraordinarily witless film, that is easily the worst on this list. The film operates somewhat as a checklist for cultural and racial clichés, that is devoid of fresh ideas it’s mornoic, chauvinistic, clichéd drawn out ‘comedy’ makes me question whether Martin Lawrence had any real talent to start with!                                            Like ‘Big Momma’ herself this franchise is just cliché and padding and to be honest it makes ‘Big Momma 1′ seem half decent if that’s at all possible, so see this if you have no sense of humour and you are devoid of all sense of the phrase ‘A good film’. I have nothing more to say on this monstrosity. Rant over.

What’s your top 5 worst films of 2011 so far…….

1.) Back to the future: Undeniably on of the greatest films of the 1980′s and, indeed of all time. A sure-fire classic which has endured so well because it walks that fine tightrope of managing to appeal to everyone. In 1985, Doc Brown invents time travel; in 1955, Marty McFly accidentally prevents his parents from meeting, putting his own existence at stake, breathlessly constructed, it’s delightful and sophisticated that is beyond anything cinema could construct in 2011, in a similar vein. The counter-Freudian drama is handled with a easy wit and flair, with a deft balance of nostalgia and celebration. This film has wonderfully vibrant and well written characters that resonate in ways few films ever achieve, an old fashioned gem of a film.

2.)Billy Elliot: A British classic, in the eyes of many. This film revolves around a talented young boy, who becomes torn between his unexpected love of dance and the disintergration of his family. The film made a star of Jamie Bell and rightly so, the script is sparky with the tonal form that is reminiscent of ‘Brassed off’. By setting the intimate conflict against a wider social drama, Daldry (the director) makes the portrait of the young dancer even more mesmerising. The dance sequences and soundtrack fizz with T.Rex classics, with key emotional weight, that Full Monty should have been like. It avoids the cheap manipulation inherent in it’s underdog plot, Billy Elliot earns every one of its sentiments and emotions with an uplifting finish with sober (but never maudlin) drama.  

3.) Little Miss Sunshine: A family determined to get their young daughter into the finals of a beauty pageant take a cross-country trip in their VW bus. From a film that generated from a typical indie algorithm of family dysfunction, this road trip sparks not only because of the dark comedy but the chemistry between the cast which accumulates depth in every character. The screen play is impressive and it treats its comic figures with rare affection, but it is Alan Arkin’s performance-of-a-lifetime that separates this from other indie road trips. Writer Michael Arndt has cleverly captured the bribery and corruption which lie at the heart of most families with a gleeful spike of satire. It’s the Royal Tenebaums meets Malcolm in the Middle.

4.)  Benny and Joon: A mentally ill young woman finds her love in an eccentric man who models himself after Charlie Chaplin. An early performance by Johnny Depp (before he was busy making pointless Pirates of the Caribbean sequels) renders a startling performance that elevates the romantic fable, with a neurotic ruffian with both soul and grit. In a master stroke, Masterson resists the temptation to soften Joon which leads to a delicately touching portrayal of a mentally ill young girl by Mary Stuart Masterson. The troubling issues of mental illness might well shade the story. But Benny and Joon succeeds in remaining blithe and sunny, directed by Jeremiah Chechik  with a suitable sense of the absurd . It’s quirky melodrama is a real guilty pleasure with the goofball affection and the relationship between a strained brother and sister relationship is expertly done with Quinn and Masterson playing the story out with gentle conviction.  

3 stars

1.) The Breakfast Club: Revolving around five teen’s in detention on Saturday morning, delving deeper into rigid stereotypes, as each character reveals their own story. The Breakfast Club was shot in sequence during 1984 and it became a benchmark for all that followed in the genre which was at that time dwindling, it’s poignant ( but never slushy). It’s quintessential introduction allows the young cast to stretch their acting legs, Molly Ringwald returns for John Hughes as an insight into the downside  of being Ms. Popularity; but the standout performance comes from Anthony Michael Hall who brings some light comic relief and some real emotion to his character’s story, although he never escapes the stereotypical stance that his character begins the film with. The performances by the young cast, culminating in an exuberant pot smoking session, followed by a genuinely touching denouement, is classic stuff. Whilst, Emilio Estevez’s ‘dance’ (it looked more like he was having a fit!) is a real guilty pleasure and one of my favourite scenes. A definitive brat pack film and a great high school comedy/drama. Best Line of the Film:Brian Johnson: ‘Chick’s can’t hold their smoke, dat’s what it is.’

2.) Election: Tells the story of Jim McAllister (Broderick), a popular high school history and civics teacher in suburban Omaha, Nebraska and one of his students, Tracy Flick (Witherspoon), around the time of the school’s student body elections. When Tracy obtains a nomination for class president in the school election, McAllister believes she does not deserve the title, and tries his best to stop her from winning. This clever, biting high-school satire is arguably Alexander Payne’s most original and accomplished film, it may be set in High school but it’s darkly comic take on moral corruption, adultery and seduction is anything but juvenile. “Election’s” charm comes largely from its narrative technique: the audience gets the stories directly from the voice-overs of major characters. Hence we witness various perspectives that combine to create quite a jumbled unity, which is what makes it so original. A delicious frisson of horror, with some provocative notions, Payne gleefully disempowers not the younger woman, but the older man. A modern classic which has a remarkable performance from Witherspoon, in a cross between Sandra Dee and Margaret Thatcher. Best line of the film: Tracy Flick: ‘It’s like my mom says, “The weak are always trying to sabotage the strong.”  

3.) Donnie Darko: A troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes, after narrowly escaping a bizarre accident. A mini-masterpiece that has become a cult hit, it’s a wonderous collision of time-travel sci-fi, commentary on the 80′s and teen angst that’s simultaneously witty and poignant. It’s unsettling atmosphere which has a dream like quality, dark laughs and intriguing, likeable characters. Taking settings and ideas from: ‘ET’ , ‘Magnolia’ and ‘An American Werewolf In London’ to forge memorable, fresh sequences which stand the test of time, despite the development of CGI. Although, this film is so unique, any reference to different films seems idiotic. It’s the undeniable charm of the film which makes it so iconic, the Rushmore kind of appeal which comes with small episodes of dialogue, such as: When Donnie and his friends ponder the sex life of a smurf, these neat little touches make the screenplay spectacular having being written by the director, Richard Kelly is a supple and courageous storyteller, boldly free-associating as he mixes parody and satire with earnest psychodrama and coming up with plot points no one could anticipate. It’s a love/hate film, but for those who love it, it’s a mind-blowing film, that has no boundaries. Best line of the film: Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

4.) Easy A: Is about the story of a clean-cut high school student: Olive who relies on the school’s rumor mill to advance her social and financial standing. Emma Stone gives a terrific performance, her knowing drawl implying intellect and indifference with underlying warmth is what really makes this a stand out film for the high school genre, she’s thoroughly engaging, both smart and sympathetic, and reminiscent at times of Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls (2004) lets hope she doesn’t go the same way!. The script shrewdly boosts its IQ by working in parallels to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, it recalls Clueless and 10 things I hate about you in its witty contemporary spin to a literary classic and piling on 80s teen movie references,  the stand out scene with a declaration of love on a lawn mower really has some heart and there’s no reliance on gross out moments to sustain interest like some similar films to this.  Without leaning too heavily on its message and giving ample room for most of its stellar cast to shine, Easy A is zippy and clever and far more original than you thought a high school comedy could be again, it’s a 21st century, Ferris Bueller of this generation. Best line of the Film: Olive: ‘I just thought of the funniest thing. My name is an anagram for “I love”.

5.) Heathers: Is a dark, cynical and subversive film that pushes the boundaries of a normal high school film of the 90′s. The film is about a girl who half-heartedly tries to be part of the “in crowd” of her school meets a rebel who teaches her a more devious way to play social politics. And what evolves of that is brash flaunting of burning up the conventions of the high school film and  dancing on the ashes, The film uses an intimate knowledge of teen-movie clichés to subvert their debased values from the inside. The witty hyperreality of Daniel Waters’ screenplay (with lines like “well colour me stoked, girl” ) was like nothing ever heard before, but firmly established a template for snappy teen speak evident in many, if not all, subsequent Hollywood teen flicks. It’s just a brilliant film, if you haven’t already seen it, watch it!.

Films that nearly made it onto this List: The Virgin suicides, Say anything, Clueless, Mean girls.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy: Nimbly navigating the labyrinth source novel by John Le Carré, Alfredson eases us through a run-down 70s London, all the way to a municipal MI6 bunker, out by the train yards. There’s a mole at the top of the Circus, a “deep-penetration agent” leaking secrets to the Soviets. Control (John Hurt) has narrowed the hunt to five likely suspects. Now all that remains is for diffident George Smiley (Gary Oldman), working off the books and under the radar, to steal in and identify the culprit. Oldman gives a deliciously, delicate performance and a first-rate supporting cast that includes Mark Strong, Kathy Burke and Colin Firth also shine. But, it’s away in Istanbul,  that Tom Hardy raises the roof as Ricki Tarr, the tale’s bullish rogue element, while Benedict Cumberbatch is mesmerizing as the well-groomed gentleman conspirator coming slowly apart at the seams. It’s more about the journey that the destination, more about the detail that the denouement, it’s refreshing to have intelligent filmmaking of the highest caliber.

Submarine: Adapted from a novel by Joe Dunthorne, this attractive comedy is a first-person narrative by the 15-year-old Oliver Tate (Craig Roberts), a deeply serious, solipsistic, morally concerned comprehensive schoolboy and fantasist, a certain relation to Adrian Mole. The time is 1980’s, giving the film a certain wistful period charm.  Oliver’s chief concerns are trying to lose his virginity to his realistic girlfriend (Yasmin Page) and keeping his parents’ marriage from falling apart. His mother (Sally Hawkins) a discontented civil servant drawn to an old flame, a flamboyant spiritual new-age hippy healer played by Paddy Considine.  Whilst his Dad (Noah Taylor) is a deeply depressed ichthyology. It’s a stylish and touching film influenced by the French New Wave, it’s a self-confident work for the first time director Richard Ayoade whose purpose is in essence to capture the delicate moment in some adolescent lives when idealism and trust lead to tentative  experiments.

The King’s Speech: Written by David Seidler and directed by Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech is a richly enjoyable, instantly absorbing true-life drama about the morganatic bromance between introverted stammerer King George VI and his exuberant Australian speech therapist Lionel Logue. These characters are performed with pure theatrical gusto by Colin Firth as the miserably afflicted monarch, Geoffrey Rush as the twinkly eyed speech coach and Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen who has to learn to like Logue by overcoming her own snobbery – which she incidentally never troubles to disguise as shyness.  The King’s Speech proves there’s fizzing life in old-school British period dramas – it’s acted and directed with such sweep, verve, darting lightness. It is a rare film indeed that successfully uses empathy rather than sympathy, we feel what the character feels instead of feeling for the character. The meticulous period detail and stunning cinematography, this is an eloquent film delivered with real panache.

127 Hours: Based on a true life story, about climber Aron Ralston who one weekend went out hiking in the beautiful, remote Blue John Canyon in Utah. He had told no one where he was going; he had no mobile phone. Ralston’s date with destiny begins when he starts a very dangerous canyon climb and his arm gets jammed, immovably, under a colossal boulder. And from here begins the fight for survival. This is his absolutely assured, tremendously crafted film, Danny Boyle candidly, but not too explicitly reimagines the  real-life story of Aron Ralston’s accident. Visually, Boyle’s film is compelling and there is a poetry in Ralston’s vulnerable, fragile flesh being crushed under the weight of a landmass trillions of years in the making. When the film gets to the inevitable descision that the charcter must cut off his own arm in order to survive, i was reminded of  Marlon Brando’s gibbering, epiphany in Apocalypse Now; after having once injected the children of some remote jungle tribe against polio, he later returned to find the disapproving elders had chopped off all the injected arms. Yet Aron’s willpower is even more more fascinating and it’s the character depiction that makes this such an accomplished film.

Attack the Block: The fantastic debut feature, written and directed by Joe Cornish never flags, pulsing with rowdy energy this action/adventure comedy, it takes adventure elements of classic films but putting them in the modern-day, makes this film speak to the current moment .It’s a doozy, offering tight and imaginative camerawork, electric thrills, and a sharp, twisty script that plays like a social satire, it is somewhat reminiscent of the 1974 Ealing comedy Hue and Cry. Cornish provides a sharp social comment on the subject of aliens and alienation, he tackles this with a light touch and a cheerful, unfashionably optimistic belief in a happy outcome somewhere along the line. His sci-fi urban is also a satirical fantasy which has a human tough through the brilliant John Boyega, who becomes heart-wringingly vulnerable in the last sequence. Luke Treadway also gives a fantastic supporting role as the appalling white druggie: Brewis, always trying to be street-cred and speak like the guys from the block – his witty performance is a wonderful element of the film. Modern creature design has become way too elaborate, with FX guys looking to add veins and muscles and proper biology to the creatures. The aliens in Attack the Block are 180 degrees away from that, simple but iconic. The soundtrack: A Carpenter-esque score by Basement Jaxx is also in a league of its own and gives the film a real sense of tension.

1.) Annie Hall: Is a about Alvy Singer, the gag writer and stand-up comic played by Allen in the movie who falls in love with Annie Hall, played by Diane Keaton, sets the form for many of Allen’s onscreen girlfriends: Pretty, smart, scatter brained, younger, with affection gradually fading into exasperation. This is a movie that establishes its tone by constantly switching between tones: The switches reflect the restless mind of the filmmaker, turning away from the apparent subject of a scene to find the angle that reveals the joke. “Annie Hall” is a movie about a man who is always looking for the loopholes in perfection. Who can turn everything into a joke, and wishes he couldn’t, he’s like a grown up Charlie Brown in many cases! Best Line of the Film: Alvy: ‘That was the most fun I have had without laughing’.

 2.) Pretty in Pink: It’s an old, old plot in which the rich boy and the poor girl love each other, but the rich kid’s friends are snobs, and the poor girl doesn’t want anyone to know what a shabby home she lives in, and about how they do find true love after all. But, it is a heart warming film, with some nice touches of humour.  Ringwald is an actress who can project poignancy and vulnerability without seeming corny or coy, and her scenes with Cryer are just perfection. “Pretty in Pink” is evidence, that there must be a reason why certain old stories never seem to die. We know all the clichés, we can predict half of the developments. But at the end, when this boy and this girl, who are so obviously intended for one another, finally get together, there is great satisfaction. There also is the sense that Ringwald has that subtle magic that will allow her, like the young Elizabeth Taylor, to grow into an actress who will keep on breaking and mending boys’ hearts for a long time. Best line of the Film: Andie: ‘I just want them to know that they didn’t break me’.

3.)  Juno: Ellen Page stars as the wise ass teenager who gets pregnant by the sweet natured geek: Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera) and decides to keep the baby enlisting the help of her best friend to find a suitable home, echoing apparent pro-life politics- as with Knocked up the same year . Juno is hilarious and sweet-tempered, perceptive and surprisingly grounded. It’s also a gust of fresh air, perspective-wise , the engaging story, coupled with the character’s likable quirkiness, makes for a film bristling with vitality and heart, without resorting to glibness or sentimentality. Diablo Cody won a well-deserved Oscar for her screenplay. Best line of the Film: Rendazo Steve: This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, Home skillet.

4.) Breakfast at Tiffany’s: In an idealized New York, during the early 60’s is where we find:  Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) a charming socialite with a youthful zest for life who lives alone . She has such a flippant lifestyle that she won’t even give her cat a name, because that would be too much of a commitment to a relationship. But then, Holly’s carefree independence is changed when she meets her neighbor, aspiring writer Paul (George Peppard). It’s a completely unbelievable but wholly captivating flight into fancy composed touches of comedy, romance, poignancy, funny colloquialisms and Manhattan’s swankiest East Side areas captured in the beautiful colours, Capote has no interest in telling a typical boy-meets-girl love story. The relationship between Holly and Paul, whom she calls Fred in honour of her brother, evolves in unusual ways. On a different not, if you don’t fall in love with the cat then you have a heart of stone.  Best line of the Film: Holly Golightly: I’m like cat here, a no-name slob. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don’t even belong to each other.

5.) When Harry met Sally: Set primarily in New York, as most romantic comedies are. This is a touching and funny film which set a new standard for romantic comedies, and was ably abetted by the sharp interplay between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. The plot revolves around the question:  ”Can men and women ever just be friends?” with ensuing hilarious antics and the famous Deli scene it is never hamstrung by a litany of familiar romantic comedy clichés. While there’s nothing radical in the trajectory of Harry and Sally’s romance, it’s not entirely conventional, either.                                                                                                                                                                          The two main characters are well written, with both easily transcending the level of stereotyping they could have easily fallen into. Reiner directs with deftness and sincerity giving it a stylistic, ravishing lark brimming over with style, intelligence and flashing wit. It breaks the romantic comedy mold because it’s not so much about Harry and Sally as it is about men and women. Best line of the film: Harry Burns: “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”

So how do you handle people like that in the cinema? What do you find usually works? What things have you tried that haven’t worked?